I came up with this list about 15 years ago, when my kids were little and I was in graduate school. The definitions and/or requirements for each of these tasks change from time to time, but the basic principle is this: the more consistently I complete the tasks on this list, the more likely I’ll feel peaceful, at ease, and content. Another word for this might be discipline, and discipline is a form of self-care. My chore today was mending a couch pillow – very satisfying after enduring the gaping hole and trails of stuffing for months!
As I’m writing this, I’m reflecting on the fact that I’ve done everything today except practice/play. I tend to rotate unevenly between short spurts of practicing singing, piano, conducting, flute, yoga, and video games – a rotation which works for me. But lately, practicing anything has been tough. Practice involves some disappointment and failure before there’s progress – hard to bare in difficult times. Maybe I keep forgetting the “play” part – that’s the part that makes life fun and bearable.
May our daily disciplines be a source of peace, ease, and fun in difficult times.
This just in!
I’m thrilled to share that I’ve been selected as a recipient of CSULB’s “49 Under 49” award. What an extraordinary honor! See link below to find out more about the history and process of this award.
We each are a miracle. Our gathering together is a miracle. And we are each other’s gifts.
My favorite part of the holiday season happens within the first 10-15 days after Thanksgiving, when Christmas lights are just starting to appear on houses. The sparkle and splendor of the season feel new and long-awaited. That’s when the first holiday parties start, the baked goods are fresh, and the potlucks feature the first fruits of our holiday spirit. Because many students have finals, juries, and projects due the week before winter break, schools put on their holiday concerts and festivals as soon as possible after Thanksgiving. Teachers have what feels like NO TIME AT ALL to build back the rehearsal momentum lost from the Thanksgiving break, and must immediately produce the most highly anticipated (and mandatory) performances of the year. Students learn the meaning of grace and hope as they succeed despite their frequent tardiness, unexpected absences, and lack of preparation, sometimes due to illness and often due to severe overwhelm due to all their other social and academic obligations. It’s a time of frenzy, high stress, and anxiety, but also beauty, tenderness, nostalgia, and magic – I love it.
We each are a miracle. Our gathering together is a miracle. And we are each other’s gifts.
Around 10-15 days before Christmas, people are exhausted. Students and teachers stress over juries and finals. The decorations are starting to look boring and worn out, instead of nostalgic and precious. At this point, folks are tired of bringing and eating potluck food. The leftovers are overwhelming and unwanted. The awkward Secret Santa and “white elephant” gift exchanges are happening, whether you like it or not.
We each are a miracle. Our gathering together is a miracle. And we are each other’s gifts.
Whether I’m 10 days into the season, 10 days out from Christmas Day, or it’s the 10th day of Christmas (January 3) and I’m ready take down the Christmas tree 2 days early, I constantly long for that remarkable moment when time stops and we recognize that all the preparation, hard work, and risks we’ve taken have led us back to each other, back to being together. Concerts, shows, church services, family gatherings, parties with friends and co-workers… all our gatherings are miracles. We each are a miracle. Our gathering together is a miracle. We are each other’s gifts. I think about how this compares with the nativity story, the first Christmas: a story of traveling and toiling and risking and trying. It’s messy and painful. Think of all the waiting, the searching, the desperation and disappointment; the fear. And then… the miracle of birth in a most humble place.
Each of us was a risk that someone once took. This Christmas, may we remember…
We each are a miracle. Our gathering together is a miracle. And we are each other’s gifts.
Up Your Game Reading Session
Ready to “up your game” as a choral singer? Prepare to make connections, build musicianship skills, and be inspired. During this 3-hour session, you’ll make music with and learn from session singers, contractors, conductors, and teachers offering real-world insight and experience in the field of choral music.
Scholarships available Scores and refreshments provided Designed for Advanced Singers Ages 15+
For Fun
Pics with pianist Aron Kallay, plus my Dad, my friend Mark Hilt (formerly from Harvard-Westlake), and my friend Donna Perkins from Neighborhood Church… all at the premiere performance of my piece LA River Scenes on December 16.
Thank you to everyone who was there. It was an incredible performance!
We got a beautiful new piano for Christmas. This instrument was cherished for decades in the home of a dear friend, and it will be cherished in my own home for decades to come. (The kitties like it, too!)
Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, and a very Happy New Year!
When scrolling, try closing the app and walking away after three irritating posts. Three strikes, I’m out!
Limits
I set a timer for the period of time of my choice. Or, I might commit to only scrolling past 20 posts, or 10 posts, or however many I deem appropriate for my needs at the moment. I’m better when I’m mindful about my time.
Healthy Scrolling
Here are several pages/people that keep me healthy and happy while scrolling on my socials. I try to visit 5-10 of these each day (unless the three-strikes law thwarts my efforts). I like to think it improves my algorithm, too. I also regularly add to, subtract from, and change up this list:
Some facet of the American Choral Directors Association
Black and Obsessed with K-Dramas
Rhythms of the Village Productions (Altadena, CA)
A family member or friend whose political views differ from mine but whose life and work I deeply respect.
The Zanaida Stewart Robles Singers
Neighborhood UU Church or some other spiritual/religious institution to which I’m connected.
Harvard-Westlake School or some other educational institution to which I’m connected.
An award-winning performing artist or visual artist
Duolingo
An award-winning athlete
A family member or friend that I absolutely adore
Upcoming Events
Live in the Lounge: HERS Music Ensemble
The Ebell of LA is proud to present to you a curated voice salon featuring the works of Los Angeles women composers by Hers: Music Ensemble, a newly formed group dedicated to the empowerment and uplifting of musical artists who identify as female. For this special evening at The Ebell, award-winning vocalists Karen Hogle Brown and Tamara Bevard will present vocal selections by celebrated LA composers including Reena Esmail, Zanaida Robles, Dale Trumbore and many more.
Join us for a curated voice salon that will celebrate the amazing creations of musical art happening right in our own beloved city.
This year, I resolve to intentionally explore physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional health as I strive to be a source of light for the people to whom I’m connected. May your heart, body, mind, and spirit be blessed this new year and always.
Heart
Tuesday, January 8 was one of the scariest nights of my life, as extremely high winds battered our homes. My heart raced all night as the wind whipped up a fire that destroyed several towns, including the nearby town of Altadena. The power went out as the wind loudly tore over our house like a rampaging animal. From my dark bedroom window, I saw flames on the hillside, swiftly advancing over the brush. Every violent wind gust pushed the fires closer; the hills were consumed by flames. I remember praying out loud, pleading for the wind to stop. The fire raged on even as the winds died down and shifted away from us. And while I’m grateful my home and family are safe, the damage to our beautiful city was vast and brutal. I am heartbroken over the loss of my friends’ homes, schools, and churches. So much that was irreplaceable was destroyed. The kindness and generosity of strangers is what gives me hope in times like these. May hope continue to thrive as we help each other find the way back to wholeness.
Body
This past fall I began a journey to improve my health. I constantly felt heavy, tired, and in pain. In addition to various doctor visits and treatment plans for specific issues, I decided to download and use an app to help me track what I eat. It wasn’t that my eating habits were so bad; it’s that they weren’t in alignment with my nutrition goals. The app helps me to be accountable to myself regarding my goals – sometimes I hate that! When I feel overlooked or underappreciated, I want a treat or a reward or an edible comfort. The app affirms my effort, reminds me to stay on track, and helps me get back on when I’ve fallen off. A helpful tool can make a real difference.
Composition
Psalm 61: Hear My Cry
Hear my cry, O God, and listen to my prayer. I call upon you from the ends of the earth with heaviness in my heart. Set me upon the rock that is higher than I.
I watched football, ate fried catfish, and created art with my beloved mentor Paul Smith. He taught me a new art technique using paint on tile. I made a “Z,” of course!
May you be joyful. May you be at peace. May you be in the company of loved ones. May you celebrate all 12 days, if you feel like it. May you celebrate Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, New Year’s, and all times in which we experience love, awe, and gratitude. May you be amazed and inspired today and in the days to come.
Surgery update
It got postponed. Bad news: I had a mental and emotional breakdown over this whole snafu and will have to wait for god-knows-how-long before I can have my surgery.
Good news: I’m intact and above ground for Christmas and New Year’s!
Composition
My new album “Ecstatic Expectancy” is now available on all major streaming platforms. Many thanks to everyone who met up with me and purchased physical CDs at our album release events. Want more CDs? Visit me in person on Sundays at Neighborhood UU Church in Pasadena right after the 10am service. And stay tuned for more meet-ups!
Conducting
Come watch me conduct my original Christmas carol “Now the Rejoicing” for choir, piano, and organ at 8pm on Christmas Eve at Neighborhood UU Church in Pasadena.
For Fun
On Thursday December 19, the Harvard-Westlake Jazz Singers performed at Homeboy Industries for the morning meeting with Father Greg Boyle!
(Event photo by Danny Moloshok of Moloshok Photography)
The ETM-LA Gala on December 6 was incredible! I’m so honored to have received their “Shining Star Award” as an educator. The Harvard-Westlake Jazz Singers performed exquisitely with pop star SYML and award-winning film and television composer Blake Neely. The video below is the short film that was shown at the gala:
