Author: Zanaida

Enough!

For my entire adult life, I’ve been extremely busy. I’ve always had multiple jobs. I’ve always had to drive all over the place for work. I’ve felt guilty for not spending enough time with family. I never seemed to have time to just hang out with folks. Even with a doctorate in music, I sometimes don’t feel that I’ve accomplished enough: I constantly wonder “have I made it?” “Can I afford to feel content?” Add children and a husband to the mix, and now I’m constantly worried about whether THEY have “enough.”

I’ve struggled to battle the lie that there isn’t enough time, there isn’t enough money, there isn’t enough food, there isn’t enough room. This scarcity mentality has been at the root of my perceived need to stay busy. Fear of scarcity has kept me from being generous to myself and to the people I care about. I believe I’ve had enough! I’ve always had enough. I am enough. I know I’ve been blessed, and I intend to celebrate my blessings.

So this summer, I have enough!

I’m taking the time to exercise and make healthier eating choices. I’m taking time to just be at home with my family. I’m taking my money and being strategic with it (not stingy) so I can do nice things for myself and for my loved ones, all summer long. I’m traveling to conferences in Las Vegas and in Portland later this summer, because I refuse to succumb to my fear that I can’t afford the cost or that I can’t afford to spend two weeks away from home for personal and professional enrichment. I’m working with my family to create a more beautiful, more functional, and less cluttered space at home, because I insist there’s enough room for all of us to live peacefully and happily in our shared space.

I’d also like to acknowledge that there are so many people on this earth who truly don’t have enough. There are people with all imaginable needs, and their needs go unmet because of broken systems and stingy, broken people who don’t believe there’s enough of anything for anyone or who are determined to make “enough” for themselves at the expense of everyone else. Stinginess and gluttony are two sides of the same coin: I believe both are driven by the perception of scarcity.

Enough is enough. Period.

May 25 is my birthday!

In honor of this occasion, I’m celebrating 10 people/organizations who, through public service and/or artistry have made a deeply positive impact on me since my last birthday. 


10. Vincent Robles

<–   Duh, he’s my husband.  ❤❤❤

 

9. Morris Robinson

Former football player who is slayin’ the classical singing world with his incredible voice. Uses his FB page as a platform for having dynamic conversations about Black Lives.

 

8. Shawn Kirchner

Composer/Singer who collaborated with my students and me at Harvard Westlake this past April to present one of the most beautiful and artistically satisfying choral performances in my career as a conductor.

 

7. Tonality

The choir that is changing the world.

 

6. Beyonce – Coachella

That is all.

 

5. NANM

The more time I spend with my “aunties and uncles” in this organization, the more my life is blessed.

 

4. Craig Hella Johnson

Conductor of Conspirare. We met briefly when he headlined the regional CCDA conference at CSFU this past fall. His message and his music at the conference were sublime. But to speak to him face to face was a total experience. One could drown in the depth of love and passion he brings to his art form.

 

3. The Weekend

Hip Hop singer/songwriter. I didn’t even really like this artist when I first heard him on the radio a few years ago. But over the last year I’ve become intrigued by the sweet, vulnerable quality of his voice. His song “Pray for Me” which was featured in the movie Black Panther has become a part of my personal inner soundtrack.

 

2. Mornings with Keshawn, Jorge, and LZ

These dudes on this KSPN morning show crack me up on my way to work. Their banter is usually hilarious and often deeply stimulating with regard to social consciousness. Though it’s a sports radio show, they honor musical artists and talk about current events, thereby making me feel connected to the world beyond my little musical sphere.

 

1. J. Michael Walker

Visual artist. His paintings of women of color are simply extraordinary. Every single one of his works is bursting with love and radiance. I have been moved to tears on occasion just by the art he shares on Facebook.

Finding home

On Saturday, April 28 at 7:30pm, I will direct a spring choral concert with the Harvard-Westlake Choirs entitled “I Will Arise.” Joined by composer, singer-songwriter, and folk music expert Shawn Kirchner, we explore the musical intersections between Scotch-Irish, Appalachian, and Black American cultures as we consider what it means to find home within ourselves when circumstances drive us far away from the physical homes we know and love. We learn what enables us to rise and redefine what the word “home” can mean and where home can exist. And we discover what binds us together in our search for that home, that longed-for place of simple beauty and peace and timelessness that frees us from despair, loss, and pain. We consider the colorful poetry of 19th century Irish poet William Butler Yeats as he describes his desire to go to such a place:

I will arise and go now, and go to Innisfree,
And a small cabin build there, of clay and wattles made;
Nine bean-rows will I have there, a hive for the honey-bee,
And live alone in the bee-loud glade.And I shall have some peace there, for peace comes dropping slow,
Dropping from the veils of the morning to where the cricket sings;
There midnight’s all a glimmer, and noon a purple glow,
And evening full of the linnet’s wings.I will arise and go now, for always night and day
I hear lake water lapping with low sounds by the shore;
While I stand on the roadway, or on the pavements grey,
I hear it in the deep heart’s core.

– “The Lake Isle of Innisfree” by William Butler Yeats

A Letter to the Singers of the Los Angeles Master Chorale

Dear Best Singers on the Planet,

I’ve been thinking about this for months and months and months. This is hard. I’m writing to let you know that I have decided not to return to LAMC. I have loved singing with you more than you know. But it’s impossible for me to commit to the group and maintain my full-time work as a teacher (and a mom) along with my part-time work as a music minister, composer, clinician, and arts activist. I am deeply grateful to LAMC for the many amazing opportunities I’ve had to make music with the most talented musical artists on earth. I hope I’ll still have a chance to sing with you from time to time on short-term projects around town. Great things appear to be on the horizon for you all. I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds. I’ll be watching from the audience.

Love and hugs to everyone,
Zanaida

Oh, Canada!

The Harvard-Westlake Canadian Choir Tour of 2018 was a great success! Not only did we survive the cold, but we sang well and we had fun. It was wonderful to work with Dr. Jean-Sébastien Vallée at McGill University in Montreal. And Quebec City is definitely on my list of special places to which I hope to return someday.
The townsfolk who attended our concert at the the church of Cap-Santé, were as loving and as generous as they could possibly be. We felt deeply appreciated, especially after our encore performance of Kurt Carr‘s “In the Sanctuary,” when one boisterous Canadian with a handlebar moustache shouted,
“You all make America great again!”