I am humbled and honored to have been included on Dr. Jeffrey Allen Murdock‘s Facebook list called “BLACK CHORAL CONDUCTORS AND CLINICIANS YOU NEED TO KNOW.” 

Dr. Murdock is the Director of Choral Studies at the University of Arkansas. In a post dated January 31, 2021, Dr. Murdock wrote: “Throughout the month of February, I will highlight a different Black choral conductor each day. I’ll begin the month by honoring the Black trailblazers in the field, followed by those Black conductors who are well known and continuing to make us proud. To round out the month, I will share the names of some conductors who are doing great work that you may not know, and close with up-and-coming Black conductors. Hopefully, over the next 28 days, you’ll get to know some high quality Black conductors to bring for your honor choirs, symposia, and the like! I hope you’ll join me on this journey!”

Please check out his feed so you can read about all of them:

When I think back to the days of my own youth, I remember always feeling like there were no other Black kids who knew and loved classical harmony as much as I did. From a very young age, I knew I wanted to be an elite classical musician and scholar. In some ways, I think it made me want to disassociate myself with my Blackness because I never saw any elite classical musicians and/or scholars who looked like me, especially not in classical choral music. This made things especially awkward when my non-Black teachers would program classical choral spirituals. When I was first introduced to these works as a high school student, I didn’t know anything about the history or relevance of classical choral spirituals, and I had never seen a Black classical choral conductor before. As a result, it took me a long time to appreciate these works. And even in my undergraduate years, I often felt “othered”, as the only one (or as one of a few) in the room with a racial connection to this music. I felt enormous pressure to represent “my people,” but I had no reference for what “my people” sounded like or looked like in a classical choral context. 

Today, I envy my colleagues who from an early age were personally mentored and taught by the legendary Black conductors, arrangers, and performers of the Negro Spiritual genre. I think about my colleagues who attended HBCU’s or went to Florida State University where Dr. André Thomas ushered in a whole generation of rising Black choral scholars with PhDs. I grew up in Southern California, where I didn’t see an elite professional Black choral conductor until I saw Dr. Albert McNeil conduct the Jubilee Singers at Dorothy Chandler Pavilion when I was 18 years old. And I didn’t sing under my first Black conductor until my graduate studies with Professor Paul Smith at CSUN. I first learned about classical choral spirituals in high school from singing arrangements by non-Black arrangers, conducted by non-Black conductors. I remember some arrangements were better than others; some I remember feeling down right embarrassed to sing.

Now that I’m an adult, I can appreciate being exposed to this genre through these arrangements. But it would have been life-changing if I had had an opportunity to participate in a clinic led by an elite Black choral scholar like André Thomas or Felicia Barber or Tesfa Wondemagegnehu. It would have helped me trust that my non-Black teachers were interested in doing justice to this music by bringing in people to work with us whose racial identities aligned with the music they were trying to teach. I might have seen something of myself reflected in the choral field. And I might have found my way to classical choral music much sooner than I did. Representation would have made a difference.

My journey through the list

A few days ago, I went back through all Dr. Murdock’s Facebook posts to date. The first conductors he listed were trailblazers like Dr. Anton Armstrong and Dr. André Thomas who I have admired ever since I decided to devote myself to choral music in my 20s. Later, several others he listed were close friends and colleagues of mine (my name was included among these). But most of the scholars and artists he had listed throughout the month were people I’ve never met, Black people in my field that I simply didn’t know about. I’m elated, even relieved, to know there are so many Black choral scholars and artists doing such phenomenal work. But I’m also embarrassed. How could I not know about all these superstars? Why have I not seen more of them, more of “us” at conferences, competitions, festivals, and conventions? I have often felt isolated and lonely in academia and in the professional choral world because I’ve seen relatively few classical choral scholars and conductors who look like me. But Dr. Murdock’s list provides me with the connection I’ve been searching for. His list tells me not only that am I not alone, but that I’m surrounded by a musical “family” that I’m only just beginning to get to know! I am SO humbled, SO grateful, and SO inspired by what Dr. Murdock has created.

Thanks to work like this, the choral landscape is changing for the better.

Conducting

I recently was able to return to campus at Harvard-Westlake to record myself conducting my arrangement of “Lift Every Voice and Sing” for my students. I think my conducting video was probably visually effective, but I was definitely carrying more tension than was necessary in my arms and shoulders. The pandemic has kept me away from the podium for far too long. I hadn’t waved my arms that much in months, and boy are my biceps sore!

Singing

For church a couple weeks ago, I had to record myself singing while playing the keyboard. Singing and playing at the same time has always caused me great anxiety, and I rarely ever do it. But I’m kinda proud of how this piece turned out. Here’s “Take a Look” by Clyde Otis, as sung by Natalie Cole: 

Composition

I recently revised my composition “No Fairy Tale Here,” published by MusicSpoke. The new version corrects some errors in the original score and contains an expanded piano part. Check it out on the publisher’s website:

For Fun

It was wonderful to work with my students virtually from my classroom at Harvard-Westlake for the first time in months. Even though the campus was practically deserted, it still felt good to be there. I can’t wait to get back to making music with my students in-person everyday in this legendary space!

A little pitch

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About the collage photo at the top of this post: Just a few people selected in the early days of Dr. Murdock’s February list on Facebook, described below. Be sure to check out the whole group on his feed! (Start here)