Category: Composing

Thoughts and actions

First of all, today’s my birthday (May 25)!!

In an article published by havingtime.com, the writer discusses how our thoughts affect our actions, which affects our habits, which affects our character, which affects our destiny. I’ve been dismayed by how all the schedules and lists and activities I planned for my family during these pandemic days have essentially gone out the window. Sometimes nothing seems like it’s working. Everyone is struggling to find motivation to keep up with everything. Everyone’s nerves are frayed. Everyone’s tempers are short.

In order to stabilize my depression and anxiety, I’ve had to learn to adjust my expectations on every level. These adjustments, plus reading helpful articles and inspirational stories on social media, have led me to understand that what matters most to me in my household is that we think and act with love and integrity everyday. We all know what it feels and looks like when we think and act with fear, anger, and carelessness. But at least in my household, an antidote to fearful, angry, and careless thoughts and actions has been mindful conversations about our daily loving thoughts and actions. Here’s what I started telling my kids (and my husband, and myself, for that matter!): it’s about Thinking and Doing for yourself, and for others.

THINK

Thoughts of self-care and gratitude for life
- “I’m safe, I’m loved, I’m not alone.”
Thoughts for the care of others and gratitude for their presence
- “I’m grateful for my spouse, parent, children, siblings, friends, etc… I pray they feel safe and healthy.”

Tasks that nurture your body, mind, and spirit
- Diet, grooming, exercise, play and do things that you like
Tasks that show you respect and care for others
- Household chores, work/school, reaching out to loved ones, helping where help is needed.

Some days are better than others. But by focusing daily on these loving thoughts and actions, I find that no day is ever a complete loss. There’s always hope.

Other news

COMPOSITION: My arrangement of “Come Sing a Song With Me” by Carolyn McDade has consumed most of my composition time lately. My colleagues and I are recording it for the Unitarian Universalist Association’s virtual presentation of the Service of the Living Tradition next month.

CONDUCTING: Like many conductors, I grieve the loss of access to my ensemble during this pandemic. To stay positive, I’m turning my attention toward programming music. When my choirs can safely get back together, I’ll be ready with some wonderful things to sing.

SINGING: I know I’m a soprano, but I just ADORE the Duruflé “Pie Jesu” , which is a mezzo-soprano aria. Here’s a recording I made for a Sunday Zoom service at Neighborhood Church last month:

My brilliant collaborator, Wells Leng, arranged and performed all the instrumentation. To hear more of me and my colleagues sing at church, tune in the the Neighborhood Church Zoom services on Sundays at 9:30am pacific. Check out the church website here

FOR FUN: My good friend and colleague Daniel Ramon is singer, teacher, flutist. I thank him from the bottom of my heart for reigniting my love of this instrument and helping me improve my playing. He is so kind that he took time to record himself playing a little canon by Mendelssohn that I could play along with. I had to practice everyday single day for the last 3 weeks in order to get it up to Daniel’s tempo. I’m really proud I was finally able to play it without messing up! I fiddled around on my Mac with iMovie software to produce this short video:

Report from home

While we’ve been practicing being “safer at home,” my oldest daughter Felicity has taken up photography. I got her a nice-ish camera last year for her birthday, but she never used it until now. Last week, she asked me to look at some pictures she had taken in the backyard. I was so delighted to see she was using the gift I gave her.

And her pictures were lovely: nice contrast, vivid colors, great clarity. I’m no expert by any means, but I just adore visual art – various periods, various styles and mediums. I guess I’m a visual art lover the way some people are music lovers: I don’t know much about it, and I’m not very good at it myself. But I’m game for a trip to a museum or gallery any day! I miss being able to go to museums and galleries and just walk around and revel in being physically surrounded by the brilliant artistry of gifted humans. Both my daughters are among my very favorite visual artists right now, so I’ve been surrounding myself with their art. Felicity has always been great at painting and drawing. Now she does photography, too.

While I was eating breakfast Monday morning, she came down stairs, already dressed with her camera hanging around her neck. She said, “Mom I’m going out to take some pictures,” and she went into the back yard. Usually, Monday mornings are fraught with stress and anxiety and dread about school. But on this day, she was full of curiosity and lightness and peace. I followed her outside and watched her learn from her environment. She was trying to shoot a bee sitting on a cactus flower. She would flinch and squeal when the bee would fly toward her. She got frustrated when she couldn’t get a clear shot. She kept trying, then she decided to shoot something else. I felt like I was observing my daughter learn in a class being taught by a silent, wise, and wonderful invisible teacher.

Maybe there’s a teacher at work in all of us… And what if that teacher has always been there?…

Can you just imagine that poor teacher after all these years…

COMPOSITION
I’m working on my “Kwanzaa Songs,” my “Te Deum” for choir and organ, and my “Three Moody Sketches for Piano.” And I continue to make plans for the recording of my album of Sacred Choral Works this summer (unless we’re still on lockdown, in which case who knows when it will be).

CONDUCTING
I’m leading virtual choir rehearsals on Hiawatha’s Wedding Feast by Samuel Coleridge-Taylor with my students at Harvard-Westlake and Requiem by Maurice Durufle with my choir at Neighborhood Church. Actually, there has literally been no physical conducting involved! because the video delay is so bad. But there is still so much singing we do together, even though we can’t really hear or see each other all at once. These sessions are the highlight of my week. This is where the power of audiation shines brightest. This is where the spirit of what we do as choral artists is most potent. Seeing each other engaged in this work on our computers, despite the fact our hearing and seeing is limited, is indescribably humbling and powerful.

SINGING
No upcoming performances. I’ve just been using Garage Band software along with my phone recorder to capture and mix my singing. I’m working on music for next week’s church service, which is being streamed live on Zoom and posted later on Facebook. I also have a few fun little personal projects that keep me busy.

PIANO
Suddenly, I have time to practice! I’m learning Beethoven Piano Sonata no. 1. I’m also reminding myself how to play Invention no. 1 by Bach, Austrian Song by Patcher, and Toccata by Khachaturian. I’ve begun to teach Natalie about posture and hand position. She plays everyday, teaching herself songs by wrote and making up little songs of her own. She’s exploring triads, inversions, and octave displacement (though she has no idea that’s what she’s doing! There goes that silent, wise, and wonderful invisible inner teacher again). She says she wants me to teach her how to read music next week.

FLUTE
I suddenly also have time to play my flute! I’m working on improving my tone and fingering by playing scales and exercises. Wow, it’s really hard for me to play those higher notes because my embouchure is so weak. I need a lot of practice!

COOKING
Just kidding! I don’t really like to cook. Thank God for Vincent and Felicity!

Upcoming events

Live events have been placed on hold due to the COVID-19 pandemic, but we’ll be back! Keep an eye on the Events page for the latest news.

Heading into a new decade

I’ve begun work on an album of my original sacred music for choir, piano, and organ. I’m hoping to have the album completed later this summer.

This project will give me an opportunity to work with colleagues and friends in various Southern California faith communities and educational institutions.

I’ll share updates as they unfold…

Compositions

Zanaida’s brand new work, “She Walks in Pools”, was commissioned for the CCDA SSAA All-State Honor Choir and addresses the timely subject of depression and anxiety. The piece will be premiered on Saturday, February 22 in Fresno, CA during the California All-State Music Education Conference.

Big news!

“Sing About It” is the album just released by Tonality, a professional choral ensemble that promotes peace, unity, and social justice through choral music. I am so proud to have sung with such amazing artists on this album conducted by my dear and brilliant friend, Alexander Lloyd Blake. But more that that, I am honored to have composed two of the works featured on this album. Alex Blake and his ensemble of extraordinary musicians and engineers put so much heart and skill and time into this moving work of art. “Sing About It” is now available on iTunes, Amazon Music, CDBaby, and Spotify.

Go to Tonality’s website to purchase the album, listen to excerpts, and watch videos of this group’s amazing work. You can even donate to the cause while you’re there…

Get the album

Donate here

The Lifting of Voices

I was moved to tears when, last weekend, mezzo-soprano Brittany Logan sang the sh*t out of my arrangement of “Lift Ev’ry Voice and Sing!” She sang it during a choral concert presented by the Bob Cole University Choir and Chamber Choir called “We Can Mend the Sky: Choral Music for Social Justice.” Conducted by my former teacher Jonathan Talberg, the Chamber Choir did a splendid job of supporting Brittany as she wailed with depth and fervor and exquisite vocalism — the perfect voice for my piece. Brittany told me that for her, a young Black American female college student, singing THIS SONG with THIS CHOIR meant the world to her. Tears were streaming from both our eyes as I hugged and hugged her. It meant the world to me, too.

I attended Saturday night’s concert with added pep in my step over having been elected President of the George Robert Garner III Branch of the National Association of Negro Musicians (NANM) the week prior, on October 14. I am so proud to be connected with a centuries-old Black American musical legacy through NANM. And I am filled with honor, humility, and hope as I imagine how I might serve as one of the living links between NANM and music institutions and educators that are finding ways to not only “include” Black Americans, but to give Black Americans a safe space where they can lift their voices and truly be seen and heard in ways that validate their humanity without tokenizing their identity.

I know I’ve said this before: “Lift Every Voice and Sing” is a hymn that connects us to our roots, honors the present, and points toward the future. The poetry is epic and sophisticated. It speaks to our common struggle with brutality and injustice. And mostly, it speaks to the value of EVERY collective human voice that has ever been imprisoned, demoralized, persecuted, and/or murdered. Anyone and everyone can and should sing this song. But for me, and for many Black Americans, this song is our pride and joy. It means more than words can say for this song to be sung to life by our prestigious local music institutions, especially when Black Americans take the lead.

There are lots of great arrangements of “Lift Every Voice” out there. If you are a choral conductor, please consider performing mine. It is published by E.B. Marks Music and distributed by Hal Leonard. For details, go to to https://www.halleonard.com/product/viewproduct.action?itemid=139863.