Author: Zanaida

January vibes

Here’s a cool poem that sends a little shiver down my spine, even with the weird California winter.


To a Snowflake

What heart could have thought you?—
Past our devisal
(O filigree petal!)
Fashioned so purely,
Fragilely, surely,
From what Paradisal
Imagineless metal,
Too costly for cost?
Who hammered you, wrought you,
From argentine vapour?—
“God was my shaper.
Passing surmisal,
He hammered, He wrought me,
From curled silver vapour,
To lust of His mind;—
Thou could’st not have thought me!
So purely, so palely,
Tinily, surely,
Mightily, frailly,
Insculped and embossed,
With His hammer of wind,
And His graver of frost.

– Francis Thompson
This poem is in the public domain


Composition

World premiere coming in April

My LA Master Chorale commission is finished and submitted! It’s about 9 minutes long and scored for a cappella double mixed chorus. It’s designed for a big choir that can lock some crunchy harmonies and still wail like crazy. LAMC is going to SLAY this piece!

Here’s how to get tickets to the premiere performance on April 6 and 7 in Downtown LA: 

I Believe:
The music of Bach, Bonds and Robles


Conducting

Celebrating Dr. King

On Sunday, January 21, we enjoyed ourselves at the 2024 Unitarian Universalist Choral Celebration of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. at Forest Lawn Glendale. I conducted “Love is” by Tesfa Wondemagegnehu, along with the hymn version of “We Shall Overcome.” Here’s a photo of my colleague John Bergquist conducting our combined choir piece “Show Us How to Love” by Mark Miller. I also took a selfie with my friend and fellow composer/conductor/singer Saunder Choi, and here are some views of the crowd.


For Fun

I got a Lite Brite for Christmas!

I always wanted one as a kid, so my husband thought it was time I finally had one. (Thanks, honey!)


Archie and Ollie


Hope you’re enjoying your winter!

Now the Rejoicing!

Gloria to God in the highest, and peace to all people on earth!

Now the rejoicing! Songs fill the hall.
Now the doors open, welcoming all
Of those who have waited with hope for this peace
And this love and this joy to commence with increase.

Gloria to God in the highest, and peace to all people on earth!

Now for the child inside of us all;
The twinkling of lights on trees so tall;
For the giving and getting of so many gifts;
For dancing and feasting and mending of rifts.

Gloria to God in the highest, and peace to all people on earth!

Now the reunion of fam’lies and friends;
Now the forgiveness and making amends.
Now is the time when we welcome the light; when we find what was lost, when what’s wrong is made right.

Gloria to God in the highest, and peace to all people on earth!

Now that we know we’re no longer alone;
Now that the miracle has been made known;
Now that our heaven is made here on earth;
Now at long last, as we welcome new birth!

Gloria to God in the highest, and peace to all people on earth!


Christmas Eve Service

Sunday, December 24 @ 8pm
Neighborhood UU Church, Pasadena


Celebrating Kwanzaa with a Blast from the Past

I got into the Kwanzaa spirit this year by watching the Neighborhood UU Church virtual Kwanzaa service from 2021 on youtube. My segment on “Decorating for Kwanzaa” happens around 13:15. There are also dance videos of my songs “Kujichagulia” (Self Determination) and “Kuumba” (creativity). Watch the entire 44 minute videos service for a beautiful and informative exploration of this annual celebration of Black and African-American culture.


For Fun

Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving complexity

I’ve been grieving a lot this last month. That’s why I’m so thankful for my husband and my two daughters, who live with me and continually remind me that I’m loved and that I’m not alone. And when I don’t feel like I can lean on those in my household, I’m grateful for my network of friends and family who are with me in spirit, letting me talk with them, listening to me, helping me bear my grief. The deaths of loved ones, the sad endings of friendships, the loss of resources and abilities, challenging environmental changes, war and poverty in the world, and the unrelenting passage of time have all been heavy on my heart. 

What does it even mean to let go of that which we cherish and on which we rely? Perhaps letting go has to do with accepting things I can’t change. Too often, I distract or numb myself to avoid feeling lonely, or angry, or powerless and hurt. In order to help process this often debilitating grief over things I can’t change, my therapist challenged me to face it without numbing (alcohol) or distraction (Netflix). So I’m trying to take time to feel these tough feelings. And I’m discovering that remembering what I loved and cherished about these losses can be helpful. I go back and forth between “It’s over now, it hurts so much, and/or there’s nothing I can do” and “remember how great it used to be? I’m so glad I had that.”

Eventually, I get curious and ask myself, “what are the ways in which my life now has remnants of past joys and lost loves?” This curiosity leads me to photos and letters and traditions and keepsakes that hold deep meaning and relevance, making me smile. I also discovered there were things I was keeping (clothing, knick-knacks, photos, letters, traditions, etc.) that also made me smile but no longer held meaning for me. Getting rid of those now meaningless things felt oddly good. It made me even more grateful for the things, people, and memories that continue to hold meaning and importance for me. I guess that’s how gratitude became an antidote to my despair. But I couldn’t arrive at genuine gratitude until I let myself grieve. 

This Thanksgiving, may we be kind to ourselves and to one another. May we give ourselves and each other the space we need to genuinely grieve without distraction and numbness, so that we can be genuinely grateful.


Conducting

Lights of Remembrace

Wednesday, November 29 @ 7pm — Free
Museum Plaza, Forest Lawn Glendale
English language service, featuring the Harvard-Westlake Chamber Singers
I’m conducting music by Brahms, Forrest, and Sweelinck.


Rejoice!: Celebrating Connection” Winter Choral Concert

Thursday, December 7 @ 7pm — Free
Rugby Auditorium, Harvard-Westlake School
I’m conducting music by Robles, Coleridge-Taylor, Valverde, Hairston, Rutter, Hogan, Haydn, Aguiar, and more.

“Neighborhood Christmas Concert”

Friday, December 15 @ 7:30pm — Free
Neighborhood UU Church, Pasadena
2nd annual Christmas concert, featuring guest soloists from our NUUC community, along with the best sing-alongs ever.
Suggested Donation: $25 to support NUUC Music programs.

Christmas Eve Service

Sunday, December 24 @ 8pm
Neighborhood UU Church, Padadena
I’m conducting new music by Robles!


Composing

YAY!!

The first draft of my LA Master Chorale commission is complete! Now I need to edit it and make it presentable. Don’t forget to get your tickets for the world premiere in April. 

Here’s the premiere performance of my arrangement of “His Eye is on the Sparrow” presented by the Frost Chorale, conducted by Dr. Amanda Quist. The whole concert was outstanding! My piece begins around 26:40. 


For Fun

Redlands High School Treble Choir Festival with my group Bel Canto from HW
Working the registration table for SCVA Honor Choir weekend. So proud that three of my HW students were selected to participate!
Archie being nosey

Selfie silliness!

Happy Thanksgiving!

New dreams

Since I really enjoy doing composer/conductor residencies with college students, I would love to do residencies in French-speaking and/or Spanish-speaking countries. I want to immerse myself in the language, work with composition students on writing choral music, and conduct a concert with a collegiate choral ensemble featuring my choral works.

I want to sing my own music with a small group of highly-skilled singers,  performing concerts in the Los Angeles area and beyond.

I want to write or record or collaborate on something that’s good enough to win a Grammy, or a Pulitzer, or something else like that.

Dream big or go home, right? What dreams do YOU have?


Composing

My newest composition “From the Stone Age” premieres with Melodia Women’s Choir of New York on November 19, at Church of the Holy Apostles in NYC.  Check it out here:


Conducting

I’m conducting a reading session of my works along with works by my friend Reena Esmail (pictured) at the Southern California Vocal Association Fall In-Service, and it’s coming up later this week! on 

Friday, October 27, 2023
9:00am to 4:00pm

Glendale City Church
610 E. California Ave.
Glendale, CA 91206
Map & Directions


For Fun

Flute and djembe performance
Playing djembe at church with native Tongva flutist Michael Whitehorse Aviles

Happy Halloween!

What to do with a day off?

I want to rest and relax. But I want to catch up on chores and personal projects. I want to respond to all my unread emails. I want to do something special, eat something special, go somewhere special. I want to play video games and nap all day long. But I want to exercise. I want to go hiking and kayaking. I want to practice piano and compose music. I want to get my car fixed and schedule doctor appointments. I want to pay my bills and call my mom and update my website.

Alas, at the end of the day, I basically did none of this! But maybe all I was supposed to do today was make this list. I also took a short nap. I got my COVID booster and caught up on correspondence.


Conducting

I’ve been earnestly practicing conducting lately. I make short videos and post them to social media to hold myself accountable. It’s scary and frustrating, but valuable. Check out what I’ve added to my TikTok and IG pages.


For Fun


Happy fall, everyone!